I’m a reader. When I am reading a book I really like, it can start to influence the way I perceive my own life and the people I interact with. I sometimes get so involved in a book or an author that I want to read everything he/she writes. I will research the time periods and cultures of the characters, and look into the author’s inspiration for the book. If I’m reading something I don’t like though, I abandon it. I can’t even tell you how many books I have started (and really wanted to like), that were just too painful to get through. One book that I recently read and loved was “The Signature of All Things” by Elizabeth Gilbert. This novel surrounds the life of a wealthy Philadelphia woman in the 1800s whose life is filed with science, research, and literature, as opposed to love and spirituality. Elizabeth Gilbert (the author of “Eat, Pray, Love”) was interviewed by Ami Desai for Oprah’s “Live the Life You Want” Tour. In this interview, Gilbert says “Do you know that adage, ‘plant an expectation, reap a disappointment’? You just have to be very careful about managing your expectations. But when I say careful, I mean, have them because we also can’t make plans for ourselves and we can make grand, broad visions for our lives without some sort of a desire within us, you know? So you have to have them but you just have to control them and make sure they don’t take you over. And you certainly have to be careful of other people’s expectations about you.”

I love this. It can be very easy to allow other people’s expectations of us cloud our own perception of our own success or worth. It is especially easy for other people’s expectations to influence our own. This happens to all of us, and can prevent us from realizing and planning for our true ambitions.

Last year, I fell into this trap. I am currently working as a low level supervisor in a small department of a hospital. I supervise six people, and I do it well. I know that I can do more, and felt that I should take some steps to move up. The first thing I did was to think of others I look up to. My two mentors, who have helped me to get where I am, have the same degree and licenses I do, but they both also have an MBA. Both are in positions I can see myself doing well in. So I started working on my MBA. That makes sense, right? I took the GMAT, researched the best, most flexible programs in Philadelphia, and was accepted at Temple University. I applied for tuition assistance and started my first semester. And I hated it. I knew pretty quickly that this was not the right career move for me. So, with the support of my family and friends, I stopped.

The thing is though, I was afraid to tell my boss. She was so proud of me for going to business school. Why do I do that? Why was I afraid that I won’t measure up to others’ expectations? Ultimately, my career moves are my decision, and no one else’s. Sometimes I will try things that won’t work out, just like a terribly boring book that I abandon to collect dust on a shelf. That’s not failure… it’s just getting me one step closer to what I am really meant to be doing.